Harry and Spidey See Gaga
by curiosityneverkilledthecat
Summary: What happens when Harry Potter and Spiderman see Lady Gaga? Humorous action ahead!
1. Chapter 1

"Thanks for helping me out Pete. The ministry just won't budge with sending more aurors here when there is evidence more than one death eater is in hiding here" said Harry.  
"Please, it's the least I can do" said Peter Parker.  
It was only a year ago that Peter Parker met Harry Potter. It had happened due to a sticky situation with death eaters and super villains, that had resulted in them revealing their true identity to each other and they'd kept in touch ever since.

Harry has been sent to New York to take down one death eater. They believed there was only one there, but Harry begged to differ.  
"So where are we going?" asked Peter.  
"Umm I'm not sure I only have the address." Harry looked at a piece of parchment he had that had a single address on it "4 Pennsylvania Plaza" said Harry.  
"Wait, what did you just say?" asked Peter.  
"I said 4 Pennsylvania Plaza, New York", said Harry looking slightly confused.  
"So you know where that is right? and who will be there tonight?"  
"No...?"  
"That's Madison Square Garden and Gaga is performing there tonight"  
"Oh my Merlin... it's the perfect place to attack. I mean imagine all the muggles that will be there."  
"Yeah...wait I thought wizards didn't know about Lady Gaga?"  
"Trust me...even in the wizarding world she is very famous"  
"Ah. Okay. So how do you expect us to get in? There is no point going if we don't have tickets"  
"Don't worry I can obliviate their minds and get them to let us in"  
"Ok...let's go"  
Harry and Peter then made their way to MSG to find it, of course very packed. Harry had to get Peter to cover him so he could obliviate a ticket scanner lady and several security guards but finally both Harry and Peter were able to enter the arena.  
"So...what do we do now?"asked Peter.

"Well...umm" said Harry quite unsure. "I guess we just look around and see if we find anything that seems suspicious and just go from there"  
"Ok sounds like a plan. I'll take the roof you take the ground floor"  
"Ok here, take my invisibility cloak so no one will be able to see you if they look up. We'll meet back here when Gaga starts"  
"Ok so that's about 45 minutes."  
"Yeah..but if she is a bit late we will keep looking so just when she starts we will meet back here."  
"Ok"  
Harry and Peter looked for death eaters for 2 and a half hours until it was announced that Gaga was finally starting.  
"Did you find anything Harry?" asked Peter  
"No... did you?" asked Harry.  
"No...OHH look!" yelled Peter.  
"What!" Harry was on the verge of pulling is wand out until Peter stopped him.  
"Harry relax look she's starting"  
"Oh right" said Harry looking sheepish. "Well where is she?" asked Harry squinting at the bottom of the stage.  
"She's not down there... she's up there. See the silhouette at the top of the stairs. That's her."  
"Oh... is she meant to be alone or is there meant to be other people?" asked Harry.  
"What?" Peter looked up and saw three figures appear at the silhouette screen. Lady Gaga then kicked one of the people in the face with one of her pointy high heeled shoes. The person immediately fell to the ground. There were gasps from the crowd and Harry looked worried.  
"Is this part of the show or does she need help?" asked Harry to Peter.  
"Harry relax she's always doing crazy stuff like this. It looks like it has been choreographed", said Peter still staring at the stage. The second person was punched in the face several times by Gaga and then fell to the ground. The third person then ran at Gaga but she stepped away and then jumped on the persons back and tackled him to the ground. All people could see for the next two minutes were occasional flicks of hair and maybe a high heeled shoe as well. Lady Gaga soon got back up and started the concert.  
"See Harry she's all right. And even if it was real villains she can handle them" said Peter.  
"Ok but I think we should stay near stage just in case of a sudden attack" said a worried Harry.  
"Ok but Harry, relax okay? I'm sure we will find the death eaters soon."  
"Yeah. Yeah you're right... we will find them soon." said Harry unconvincingly.  
For the next hour of the concert Harry just stood there stubbornly looking everywhere except at gaga, in search for death eaters, but he had no luck. Peter on the other hand was getting really into the concert. He was singing and dancing to the music. He even asked Harry to transfigure a water bottle into a stuffed unicorn. Harry reluctantly transfigured the water bottle and handed it to Peter. Peter then threw it on stage with his spidey strength he was able to through it into gaga's arms where she cuddled it and threw it back out to the crowd. Peter then grabbed it sneakily by shooting a web at it.  
"OHH MY GOD OHH MY GOD OHH MY GOD HARRY LOOK I HAVE A UNICORN THAT GAGA HUGGED!" Peter yelled almost girlishly. Harry was trying to suppress a laugh at this and was failing miserably.  
It wasn't until before the twister came down on gaga that Peter stopped dancing and screaming and stood there silently.  
"Pete? You ok?" asked Harry  
"Harry my spidey sense is tingling" said Peter in a worried tone.  
"Well you can go I'm sure I can handle it here until you get back"  
"No Harry my spidey sense is sensing danger around here", the twister then went down on Gaga so she could get changed into her next outfit. Harry then saw a glimpse of silver backstage. He quickly looked and saw a person dressed in black with an intricate silver mask. It was a death eater. Two more figures appeared but all three of them vanished with a pop.  
"Peter there's a death eater here but they disapparated and I don't know where they went" whispered Harry to Peter.  
"Harry I need to change into my Spiderman costume"  
Harry then looked around to see if anyone was watching them. "Here hide under here. Quickly." Peter then disappeared under the invisibility cloak. "Take it and swing up to the roof and wait until I signal you with red sparks. Oh and, drop the invisibility cloak once you're up and I'll get it."  
Harry then heard a whispered ok and swish of air. He looked up and saw his cloak coming down. As soon as Harry caught his cloak Lady Gaga was rising from the twister. Except she wasn't alone. The three people who Harry saw earlier where holding onto her. A death eater was holding onto her right arm there wand pocking under her chin. Venom was holding her left arm, his face up close to hers sniffing in her scent. Katy Perry was holding onto her neck with her right arm, while the other one had a candy cane staff in it. A long skinny tongue rolled out of her mouth and then licked Gaga's hair and face.  
Spiderman (Formally known as peter Parker) then swooped down onto the stage. Harry appeared out of nowhere next to Spiderman.  
There was an awkward silence from the crowd as they tried to take in the sight. The villains on the other hand were enjoying it. Silence continued until someone spoke up.


	2. Chapter 2

"As you can all see we are taking Gaga hostage" said Katy Perry, her tongue hissing at the end. "For your beloved Gaga we will only accept in return your beloved Harry Potter and Spiderman."  
"What happens if we don't accept?" asked Harry.  
"Well we will take lovely Lady Gaga," said the death eater," and we will slit her throat. Oh did I forget to mention that some of my most trusted colleagues will be joining me in destroying you. They are all here...let's get them to come on stage." Just as the death eater said there were multiple popping noises and 24 more death eaters appeared out of nowhere. "And then we will kill you."  
"Don't make me kick your ass again" said Gaga.  
"See I told you something was wrong!" yelled Harry over to Spiderman.  
"Ok you were right but right now we are in a bit of a sticky situation."  
"So what is your decision?" asked the masked death eater.  
"Screw this", said Gaga. She then scissor kicked Katy Perry and used her wings to fly away. That's when Gummy bears, the size of a dog, came flying out from behind the stage. Harry saw the death eater that was holding Gaga about to curse her. He quickly sent a stunner curse at him and hitting him directly in the chest. He then turned his attention to the other death eaters.  
Spiderman was on the other side of the room having a heated duel with Venom. Venom was strong, but Spiderman was stronger. He was soon able to knock him out and turn his attention onto the other fights. He then swung off to join Harry and Gaga in their fight for justice.  
Gaga was flying in the air, fighting Katy Perry. Katy was trying to attack Gaga with her tongue while Gaga was shooting laser out of her eyes in an attempt to bring her down. They then flew right at each other and collided together and fell to the ground. Fortunately the crowd had been dispersed from the building. Gaga landed on Katy and they both continued to have their fight on the ground. Gaga punched Katy in the face several times in an attempt to knock her out.  
Spiderman was fighting all of the Gummy bears. Once he punched one in the face they would explode and more would be created. He attempted to tie them up with his web, but then they would slide out of it. Nothing he did seemed to help at all. He needed to Harry's ass over here.  
"Harry I can't defeat these Gummy bears!" yelled Spiderman.  
"I'm a bit busy at the moment! Can't you wait till I have defeated these last 12 death eaters?" asked Harry, while simultaneously stunning two death eaters. "Make that 10!"  
"How about we swap for a bit?"  
"Ok" the two of them, then swapped opponents. Spiderman attacking 3 of the death eaters at once and Harry managing to get a couple of bears himself.  
Soon Gaga joined Harry, as Spiderman had only 4 more death eaters to defeat. Harry and Gaga learnt quickly that they worked as a team very well together against the hears. When they were worked together they were getting a lot more of them. Harry would stun them so they were dazed and Gaga would then destroy them with her laser vision. Spiderman joined them soon after he tied all of the death eaters up. Together they were able to bring them down quicker. They fought and fought and fought them all until the very last one.  
"Congratulations guys-" Gaga was then cut off by an evil laugh. All three of them then turned around to see Katy get back up off of the ground.  
"Good team work guys, fantastic work" Katy mimicked in a high pitched voice. "Well it aint over till the fat lady sings!" Katy yelled. "If you're so good at teamwork, why won't you try and defeat this" she finished in a sickeningly sweet voice. She then grabbed her staff and banged it on the ground. When she did this the jelly clumps, that once were the Gummy bears, were coming together. Soon it built up into a massive Gummy bear. "Get 'em Boris!" screech Katy. She then started to run away to the exit.  
"What do we do?" asked Gaga.  
"Ok Gaga you go after Katy. She's your villain after all. And me Pete, we will try and bring this thing down. Agreed?" asked Harry.  
"Agreed", said both Gaga and Spiderman. Harry then soon conjured up his broom, and kicked off flying in circles around Boris. Spiderman followed Harry's lead and was attacking Boris too. Gaga then took off, flying after Katy. She then kicked Katy in the back of her head making her fall to the ground. Katy then turned around from the ground and wiped a trickle of blood from her mouth. She then pounced onto Gaga and they both had their match up in the air.  
Harry and Spiderman were battling it out with Boris. Spiderman attempted to tie him down with his web, but nothing happened. Harry was flying around on his broom sending multiple different jinxes at him, but nothing was working for him either.  
Gaga and Katy where having a very heated match in the air. Katy then jumped on top of Gaga and they both fell to the ground again. They continued their punch up on the ground.  
Spiderman was feeling something wrong. There was something wrong with Boris. His moves seemed too controlled. As if someone was…  
"Harry there's a remote!" he yelled.  
"A what?" Harry yelled back from the other side of Boris.  
"A remote! Harry, this thing is being controlled by something! And I bet you anything that it's with Katy!"  
"Oh Merlin you're right! Gaga, Gaga!" yelled Harry over to Gaga.  
"What!" yelled Gaga back, frustrated.  
"The staff! Break the staff!" Gaga then looked at the staff then to Boris realisation dawning on her face. Unfortunately Katy realised Gaga knew. She then took the opportunity of Gaga's moment of weakness by punching her in the face. Then shr attacked Gaga with the candy cane staff. Gaga was able to block most of the blows with her shoes but also missing some, which resulted her being winded at times. Gaga then pushed her away with her feet.  
"You will never win", said Katy in a calm voice. "I won't let you!" she yelled the last part. "You think you're so great don't you? Well here's some news for you honey… you are short and weak! No one loves you!"  
"I can name one person that loves me"  
"What.. yourself!" Katy asked in a mimicking voice.  
"There is nothing wrong in loving yourself" Gaga replied back calmly. Katy simply laughed at Gaga, which was a big mistake on her behalf. Gaga, angry with Katy, then took her staff and whacked it in Katy's face, both successfully knocking Katy out and destroying the candy cane staff. As soon as Gaga destroyed it Boris exploded into a big, slick yellow river, covering Harry and Spiderman. They both landed on the ground, viewing their surroundings.  
"It's over? It's over! Harry Gaga we did it!" yelled Spiderman. He and Harry then proceeded to hug each other while also jumping up and down. "Gaga come over here we need a group victory hug!" Gaga then started to walk towards them. As she was walking Katy then lifted up her head. No one noticed her. She then let out her tongue and attempted to get at Gaga's head. As she was about to reach her head, Gaga then grabbed her tongue and pulled it forward, making Katy's head hit the ground. She then turned around, tongue still in hand, and started spinning her. Katy was then spinning in the air from her tongue. Gaga let go, making her fly. She then shot her laser eyes at Katy, making her explode.  
"No second chances. That's what kind of woman I am." She then walked back to the two men.

Two hour later the American Ministry came. The rounded up all of the death eaters and took then to the American jail. They Put Venom away in a normal jail.  
"Well I guess that's it guys. I should really be going", said Spiderman to Gaga and Harry.  
"Yeah, see you later mate. I'm sure it won't be the last you see of me", replied Harry.  
"Yeah, well see you around." The two men then gave each other a handshake which then turned into a hug.  
"You coming Gaga? We can fight the bad guys together", said Spiderman.  
"Nah… crime fighting isn't really my thing. This was like a one off chance."  
"Well I guess we should be off then" said Harry.  
"Yeah. But we should all keep in touch somehow" said Gaga.  
"How about I can arrange floo powder in all of your homes, so if we are in dire need of each other we can be a floo away" said Harry. They all nodded in agreement. When they were waiting for the ministry Harry was explaining about floo so they all knew what Harry was talking about.  
"Oh by the way Gaga, how were you not excited to see who I really was under the mask?" asked Spiderman. Peter also revealed to Gaga who he really was.  
"Well I also have x-ray vision and well as laser vision. So no invisibility cloaks can get by me…" Spiderman then looked down to the ground, blushing under the mask. Gaga then laughed and Harry looked confused but dismissed it.  
"Well goodbye everyone" said Gaga. They all then had their quick goodbyes to each other. They all walked away knowing that it won't be their last adventure together.

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